BOTTOM FORTY SUNDAYS AT THE CUFF 6PM-CLOSE

5.6.12

RESIDENTS SUNDAY

Bottom Forty is an aural gallery for the absolute finest in music selected and compiled by only the best musicians and DJ's, ranging anywhere from disco, soul, electro, dark wave, italo, house, funk, tribal, new wave, indie, acid, R&B, nu-disco and techno from all generations, but never inches to the top of the boring billboard charts. Every week, Bottom Forty is a mirror ball in New York, a basement in Chicago, a cruise in L.A. and a night in the desert.

Under the same name, Bottom Forty is also the creation and home base of Seattle's first queers only DJ Collective, contributed to only by the highest caliber of queer musicians who vehemently stick to their integrity and prowess in musical selections and mixing.

Bottom Forty Residents:
Nark // Riff-Raff // Pavone // Spaceotter

Past Guests:
Kadeejah Streets // Amateur Youth // Taffi Louis (Vancouver) // Stormy Roxx (PDX) // Blondzie // Haute Toddy (SF) // Recess (Shameless) // Up-Above // Sounds in Silence // Res //

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Located at The Cuff
1533 13th Avenue, Capitol Hill
6PM-Close
Free before 8pm

Name: Amy

Looks like Blackbird got itself into some trouble yesterday with this little comment on Facebook. How many times do I have to say it people!? Quit fucking yourselves over by not thinking before hitting post!

I saw this image posted on local DJ Amber Slaven's page with the following quote,

"I've shopped at Blackbird for years. Imagine how disappointed I was to see this status update shortly after I was there today. You know, looking at the sale rack of shorts. Really, guys??? Pretty sad, pretty stupid."

Pretty stupid indeed. Oh how I could count the the number of reasons why, but let's start with a couple of the top reasons. It's one thing to try to make your boring day pass on by slipping some cunty banter under your breath to your fellow employee, but if you are going to represent your business in an online form, on a social media platform, to which at least 5,000+ people are looking at, you might want to consider who has access to this, because yes, the people you are making fun of can actually see it, and that person might be an important public figure about town. Goodbye business!

Needless to say, and rightfully so, this caused a minor inter-web shit-storm for Ballard based boutique Blackbird. Here's a little snippet of the action.

What's our opinion? Blackbird made a mistake, it's not cool at all, it's not alright, but it was a mistake. Mistakes have consequences and they are experiencing that right now, I'm sure they have learned their lesson and meant no actual harm. But maybe if anyone would listen to me TIME AND TIME AGAIN when I write stories about how Facebook fucks people over (maybe Blackbird could stand to LOSE A FEW SHORTS) then maybe they wouldn't have gotten themselves in hot water in the first place. 

Local businesses, if you are going to have a Facebook Fan Page, realize the impacts of modern marketing and social media, and if you can't figure that out, hire someone to run it for you, not your employees.

Please share with us below your opinions on this.

Nark Magazine Presents...

HEY TRANNY IT'S TRANNY 
A Fundraiser benefit for Gay City Health Project

HEADLINED BY:
SHARON NEEDLES (RUPAULS DRAG RACE S4)
(Everyday is Halloween Tour)
http://sharonneedles.com/

SSION (NYC)
http://www.ssion.com/

HI FASHION (LA)
http://www.theworldofhifashion.com/

ALASKA THUNDERFUCK (PA)
http://www.alaskathunderfuck.com/index666.html

JINKX MONSOON 
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jinkx-Monsoon/100002631731182

DJ'S:
JD SAMSON (NYC, LE TIGRE, MEN)
http://www.facebook.com/DJJDSAMSON
EDGAR UM (PA)
PHYLLIS NAVIDAD (LA)
http://www.facebook.com/msnavidad

YOUR HOST:
BEN DELACREME (DELARUE)
http://bendelacreme.com/

QUEEN GOGO'S:
ARTSTAR & URSULA MAJOR

FRIDAY 6.22.12
AT NEUMOS
925 EAST PIKE STREET, SEATTLE WA 98122

PROCEEDS BENEFIT:
GAY CITY HEALTH PROJECT
http://www.gaycity.org/

TICKETS:
$32 GA
$60 VIP
VIP INCLUDES: Personal meet and great plus photobooth with Sharon Needles and available Hey Tranny cast, VIP only access to Mezzanine and adjoining bar, swag bags and more TBA.

PURCHASE: 
https://www.etix.com/ticket/online/performanceSearch.jsp?performance_id=1622782&cobrand=neumos

Tickets also available for purchase at Moe Bar.
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It's pride weekend in Seattle and this year we're out for BLOOD- glittery, whiskey infused blood, and we've got just the queen to extract every last drop- SHARON NEEDLES! We LOVE Sharon and this girl is making a KILLING right now representing alt-queer glamour-goth-wave art drag at its finest. But wait! Order your tickets now and receive a live show from SSION (these guys know what a stage is for, http://youtu.be/lW_tXgGrVu0 ), and straight out of smoggy and possibly glamorous Los Angeles, HI FASHION (we are not held liable if Hi Fashion beats the shit out of your ear drums, just do NOT show up in the same outfit as them http://youtu.be/R29Ony3AIOI )! Don't worry, we plan to keep your feet busily smashing and grinding confetti and rhinestones to the jams selected by our DJ's JD SAMSON (strong enough for MEN, but made for a whoa-man!), Edgar Um (Sharon's right hand dj-man!) and Phyllis Navidad (she showed us how to exist at last year's Hey Tranny, in a full length gown honey).

With special performances by ALASKA THUNDERFUCK (Sharon Needles boyfriend..? girlfriend? drag.. bestie-in-bed? err, wait.. here's the proper verbage.. ahem; disfigured and highly radioactive alien) and Seattle's big hard throbbing sweet-heart JINKX MONSOON. What's even more? The genius that is BEN DELACREME will be taking us through the evening as our special host (possibly just jingling a set of keys all night to keep us focused).

WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART?
Hey Tranny it's Tranny is more than just a party / shit-show / place you lost your virginity / place you regained your virginity and lost it again / drinking hole / dance-off, it's also a FUNDRAISER for our community here in Seattle, in particular one of our most important Capitol Hill establishments: Gay City Health Project.

"Gay City Health Project has a long history in Seattle, and continues to work tirelessly towards our goal of building a healthy gay community. We continue to serve populations that are marginalized, and who often do not have appropriate access to mainstream resources; populations such as gay, bi, and trans men of color, men who do not speak English, and/or men who are using drugs or in recovery. While Gay City continues to excel in our primary mission of serving gay, bi and trans men, we also recognize that a healthy gay community is about more than gay men caring for gay men - it's about gay men serving the broader community as well. As we continue to grow we continue to challenge the notion of who the gay community is, and who the gay community cares about."

Well would you look at that? Donating to charity has never been easier, simply buy a ticket and show up for a drunken good time. Why couldn't college be this easy?

A MESSAGE FROM NARK MAGAZINE:
Hey Tranny It's Tranny celebrates everything we love about our queer community, and is jam packed with talent from the transgendered, cisgendered, queer, drag queen, and drag king society coming together for a great cause: to raise thousands of dollars for Gay City Health Project, Seattle's premier provider of free, anonymous HIV/STI screening. It's a slam on pop culture by reclaiming a word and turning it into a celebration for all we stand for. Hundreds of people come together to celebrate Pride with us each year. Taking radical ownership of our vernacular helps bind together our powerful and diverse community against those who would oppress us as we celebrate our queer culture together!

It may be Gay Pride weekend but Hey Tranny embraces ALL walks of life: gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, in between, no where to be found, man, woman, ladyboy, girlboy, drag, FTM, MTF, DTF, none of the above, all of the above, purple, green, red, tan, pale, queer, quaint, big, small, short and tall under TWO CIRCUMSTANCES- love and support your LGBTQ and otherwise community, and getting really really drunk with us.

-Kevin Kauer / NARK
http://www.narkmagazine.com/

Become a sponsor or donate to our cause!
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Tonight at The Orient Express, the divine shoe sellers Solestruck are throwing a potential shit-show of a partee to celebrate the launch of the new Dolce Vita line, DV8. We'll be hosting our own table and legion of QT's alongside all of the best dressed around, all to be captured for a Solestruck editorial Lookbook, and hey, there's an open bar from 8-9, words we rarely get to hear in Seattle. So pick a look and get to steppin!

BOTTOM FORTY SUNDAYS AT THE CUFF 6PM-CLOSE

Photos by Kevin Kauer

It's my birthday and I'll make my boyfriend receive jello shot facials if I want to.

S E X † 3D from Mascara Monsters on Vimeo.

I received this in my inbox the other day, with a note saying little more than "me and my partner are filmmakers and musicians and have just done our first music video combining our two loves." Ok, cool, so I click on the link thinking what do you and your boyfriend love? Ponies and unicorns? Collecting rocks and engraving them with spiritual sayings? Knitting and radical feminism? Boy was I far off, now I get it, you are combining what every couple loves to combine, your genitals! 

In all seriousness though, I love this video and the music. Steady beat electro-clash has always had that delightfully seedy and sexual sound, but I've never seen anyone really run with that idea. What emerges is a dripping, sticky wet, glitter-lipped swirl-sex-bomb in *3D*, Mascara Monsters are not afraid to go there. 

Check it out, and if you like the track you can grab it and more for free on their soundcloud.

SHH! If you're very quiet you can probably hear the sounds of folks still recovering from the last Butch Queen. Post-apocalpse themed and in a top secret location, this queer-positive dance party's popularity has been increasing exponentially. While the location and date of the future event is very hush hush, chances are you probably know someone who'll be privvy to the info. So bribe, beg and haggle your way into the next one. With glitter-bombed visions like these it'll be worth it.

Photos by Rachel Robinson

Stella Rose, 15th and Harrison

Vintage Sweater

Imagnin Vintage Skirt

American Apparel Blouse

Miu Miu sunglasses

Marc by Marc Jacobs shoes

I.N.C Coat

Landmark at the Sound, Des Moines

I.N.C. Coat

Skirt- Vintage Imagnin

Hat- Vintage Saks Fifth Ave

Top: Romwe

Boots: Forever 21

It's Friday. It's the 13th. There's like a fuck-ton of things going on, and, well, since I haven't really been out in a while AND it's my birthday at midnight, I'm ready to hit them all. Here are our top picks for getting your witchy witch on tonight!

START EARLY!

"If Cherdonna falls in a forest and Lou isn't around to hear it, does she make a sound?  Can Lou see the forest or just Cherdonna and some trees?  Who are Cherdonna and Lou after the proverbial party ends?  out out there (A Whole Night Lost), is The Cherdonna and Lou Show's requiem of fears.  They know they are afraid of the same things everyone else is, but nevertheless Cherdonna and Lou can't help but wax poetic in a silent movie with movement subtitles about their most human moments, from existential crisis to monsters under the bed.  Where do our nightmares come from?  What parts of us are built from terror?  Who do we grasp onto to save ourselves?  Cherdonna and Lou are unsure what terrors they have encountered, what they have imagined, abnd what Hollywood has implanted in their brains.  Walking the fine line between tragedy and comedy, this is Cherdonna and Lou when no one is looking."

Cherdonna and Lou's talented, gender-destroying and hilarious methods of art-drag are always amazing and fun, I'll be there for sure! There are two shows, one at 7PM and one at 10PM at the Velocity Dance Center, check out tickets and more information here.

Now we're really talkin'. We've been waiting for this night since we started unwrapping our little TRST present last month in our post Music March, also I get to finally pop my Second Sight cherry, I hear it's an amazing gathering, I just have yet to make it. Tonight at Second Sight, among residents dj's Ozma Otacava, SH6RL6S6 and Rxtch Wxtch, and in collaboration with haus-brand Actual Pain clothing, is a live performance by TRUST. You can check out some tunes here, but don't be left behind and miss out on tonight- it's rare that you get to see a great band live in a small, intimate venue with an awesome crowd as opposed to some huge venue where you are constantly trying to not punch stupid blonde UW girls in the face that just heard about your favorite band yesterday and think they deserve to be in front (YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT). Second Sight also recently brought Cold Cave to the same space, I wonder who they will have next?

So check it out tonight at ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN (1402 E. Pike Street, above the Artificial Limb Company), $8 cover, 10pm- and on, cash only bar.

Want the good tunes and good drinks and still hold a conversation or not be covered in someone else's sweat? Some of my favorite DJ's (including Kadeejah Streets who is playing Bottom Forty this Sunday as well as teamed up with me and Recess for The Beat Down, opening June 14th at Barboza) are bringing out the greats in slow groove disco, italo and house tunes, all encompassed in the quaint and alluring atmosphere of the small but potent Living Room bar, sitting down at 1355 E. Olive Way. This will be great for a date or for the serious disco enthusiast, and it's free!

BUTCH QUEEN is tonight! Our new favorite little gem of a party. This month flies in just slightly more under the radar, if you didn't get a card or a password well you gotta pay up-- It's at the Cockpit and that's all I'm telling you, you should know what to do. Also feel free to slap me around when you get here because not only will it officially be my birthday but I'll probably be sloppy sweaty and drunk by this point. 

Something great going on that I missed? Feel free to post your events in the comments below!

What a rollercoaster Party Schmarty was! I'm not really sure what happened since I was in my little DJ cubby all night, but from what I could see nobody was wearing pants, and they definitely collapsed through the dancing stage, just to name a couple, a true party.

Photos by Rachel Robinson

It's here, issue 2! We will be sending out our covers each month as a postcard mailer from now on, as well as hosting them here. If you would like to get yours in the mail, for free, This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

What's in store for this month? Among many new stories and features, here are a few selects to look forward to:

• Feature interview with Lady Rizo (NYC)
• Feature interview with Sister Roma (SF)
• Spring street looks in New York, Seattle and San Francisco
• More exciting news about Seattle and Portland Pride weekends
• Taking action against condos on Capitol Hill
• Hot nightlife deets- upcoming events and shows such as Butch Queen, TRST, Honey Soundsystem, Robot Hustle, Miracles Club, Jacques Renault, The Beat Down and more
• Feature on queer "forest/faggot/r&b" musician Trevy Trevoix

Stuart Leung of Wsupnow.com / Wsup Co. has quite the large task on his hands- rounding up the local gay nightlife community and putting it in the palm of yours. With his brand new iPhone app Wsup Now, he intends to do just that. 

But so what? Right? An app that points out the obvious, big deal. Oh, let me pull out my phone and see what to do around town and it'll say, go to 'insert generic gay bar here," right? Wrong! Wsupnow is working at digging into the real scene in each city it currently works with (New York, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Chicago and Los Angeles), and with our help here at Nark Magazine it's set foot down on Seattle as well. Checking out the app myself, I can see plenty of places I would find myself out at here or in San Francisco and more, which makes this app great for tourists of all varities, from the generic camera-toter pop-music-seeker (for example, some of the larger, well-known events happening in April can be found on the Wsup Now app include The White Party (Palm Springs), the 1st Annual Boylesque Festival (New York), Anthem Dance Party (San Francisco), Dinah Shore Weekend (Las Vegas), and the Miami Beach Gay Pride) to the gypsy hipster seeking the dirty scruffy discos and shit shows.

If you really get down to it, Wsupnow is like Grindr or Scruff for gay bars with its clean simple layout portraying clear photos/posters of local parties, happy hours and more (no poster pic no visit). Grindr takes out all the fun middle-parts of meeting someone- going out, having a drink, conversing, dancing, seeing a show and so on, Wsupnow wants to put you in your proper element and see what happens; not that Wsupnow is a hookup app, but you get the idea.

Wsup now is offering its app up to iPhone users for free until Easter (normally $1.99), so what's to stop you from grabbing it now? “Easter Weekend is a surprisingly big weekend where the gay and lesbian community gets creative in how they celebrate,” said Stuart Leung, founder of Wsup Now. “For example, this is the 33rd year of San Francisco’s infamous Hunky Jesus Contest and the 13th annual Gay Easter Parade that rolls through the French Quarter in New Orleans.

Key features in Wsup Now: 

• One-touch event discovery locates the user and displays the most relevant events organized by date, time and distance from your location 

• Doesn’t require a network of friends, word of mouth or a local magazine. With Wsup Now, anyone can instantly be a local. 

• Event Photos Feature allows users to snap an event photo from within the app - a fun way to share where you are. A useful feature for both users and venue owners alike.

Download it here and go out!

We managed to squeeze by the 'real cute' monthly Indiecent at SF Underground a couple weeks ago and swiped the camera from the party thrower and DJ mister Haute Toddy for a few snaps shown below, photos by Tod Barnett and Kevin Kauer.

Nark Magazine Presents...

DICKSLAP! 
Our every other month drunken sweaty F. U. to the rules-

STARRING:
RECESS (SHAMELESS)
http://www.simplyshameless.com/

In 2003, Recess founded Shameless Productions (responsible for numerous underground club nights, parties and shenanigans). Along the way he continued to turn heads as a DJ with his constantly evolving and unique take on dance music. Over the years he has played alongside some of the biggest names in the industry such as Green Velvet, Boys Noize, Felix Da Housecat, Claude Von Stroke, MSTRKRFT, Zombie Nation, John Tejada, Meat Katie, DJ Assault, Ewan Pearson to name a few. As a DJ, Recess could quite easily be caught playing electro/disco at one club, bmore club/ghetto tech at another, or techno/house/bass depending upon the crowd and party. A leader in Seattle’s electronic community, his versatility has led to being nominated in 2006 for the Seattle Weekly’s Best Local DJ contest. Currently, he’s focusing more attention on production, but continues to play out often and produce events regularly. Whether it’s an afterhours loft space, major club, mountaintop, or random BASSment; Recess consistently brings the sounds and energy to fit any dance party

+ GUEST
UP-ABOVE

and Resident Dickslapper
NARK

Each Dickslap we hunt down the sexiest GO-GO MEN we can find, who will it be this time?

Put your safe words at home and let us SHOOT JELLY DOWN YOUR WINDPIPE with our $2 fuck you up until tomorrow JELLO SHOTS

Maybe Nark Magazine will take some photos, but don't worry, we'll store away the naughty ones in the vault.

GET DIRTY GET WET GET OFF!

SATURDAY APRIL 21ST
AT THE EAGLE
10PM-3AM (or later)
314 E. PIKE ST
$5

RSVP HERE

And to celebrate, well, I mean- this says it all-

Hoot N Howl (aka Jill Beans and Meredith Urband) came to Seattle a year ago, kicked the fucking door down on Capitol Hill and said IT'S TIME TO PARTY, and they meant serious business. These two hosts and party fanatics started out running karaoke at Chapel, as well as setting up events at FRED and The Can Can Cabaret, and also joined us at Fringe to DJ and hold it down with Ongina. 

Then- you guys- then... Hoot N Howl took over Tuesday nights at Havana, and it was ALL OVER. The night blew up, and now every Tuesday night is like the craziest 90s house party you've never been to, with the newest addition of The Hill Rats (Fly Girls) there's ass everywhere and people humping railings and couches and grinding away on the dancefloor. It's truly a beautiful sight.

So what's better than partying all the time? Partying about partying for a year. Join Hoot N Howl on Wednesday for their one year anniversary party down at The Can Can Cabaret. It's a Mousercise Patty, what does that mean? I don't know or care because I know it's going to be a HOOT (drumroll)- oh and it will involve a jazzercise class. Can I drunk jazzercise??

Check out The Fly Girls Facebook page to keep up on where these booty bouncin' ladies will land up next, and check out Tuesday nights at Havana- if you know what's best for you.

Wednesday 4.04.12

@ The Can Can Cabaret // 94 Pike Street #B

10PM-Close

Werk it Ladybob!

One of my favorite chillout tracks from Twisted Wires, not surprisingly off Italians Do It Better, can they do no wrong? Give it a full listen, loud, or in headphones.

Download the track itself here.

Chromatics put up their entire new album in one glorious complete mix, put it on and get down/make out/dance about it/get high/feel the synths, I know my afternoon just got better.

Bootycall Wednesdays in San Francisco last week was a smash as always, thanks to the beats by Guy Ruben and the ever gracious hosts Juanita More and Joshua J- there was even an appearance by the gorgeous Dita Von Teese, how about that! Check out the photos below and soak up all that GPOY.

Photos by Kevin Kauer / Nark Magazine.

The word CUNT just got ruined for me. MY FAVORITE WORD THAT IS TATTOOED ON ME. And it's all Wouter Hamel's fucking fault. I can never go back to a time when life was good before I saw this video.  

This dude (not a term of endearment) took one of the cuntiest songs ever written and spilled some weird Dutch ray of sunshine happiness all over it. No one asked you to do that!! I don't want to hear the words 'I'm a ruin you cunt' or 'that cunt gettin' eaten' and ESPECIALLY NOT 'nigga' coming out of your mouth, which I can hardly see under that pre-teen haircut, in some soft breathy voice. Get out of here!

LEAVE IT TO THIS QUEEN YELLING IT AT ME:

Ugh, please, nobody else cover this song. I have to go look up tattoo removal services now.

*SIDE NOTE: While I do stand by wishing he never made this cover, it's still in good fun, I'm sure Wouter Hamel is a fine musician, just stick to what you know!

Picture it, California, 2011. A handsome young photographer boy and his drag queen best friend travel to the city of San Francisco in search of happiness, prosperity, dancing, and the largest bloody mary bar in town.  They stumble drunkenly down a sunny street, when suddenly, a fence blocks their way. They peer curiously through the cracks into a sea of naked men and women, leading one another down the street on leashes and think, ’is this the leather Garden of Eden?’ Seduced by the beats of a nearby stage, they find their way past the white face painted giants guarding the entrance to this land, being sure not to anger the hairy beasts with whips, peering behind their aviator shades. Soon they find themselves entranced by a flashy siren exclaiming herself as Amazing, their feet moving to the beats and eyes fixated on her army of beautiful men dancing on stage to her every word. They come to shortly after- confused, laying on the ground, wrapped in rainbow streamers and horny, unsure of what they experienced. That young photographer boy was me, the garden was Folsom Street Fair- and the sirens? Hi Fashion.

(Check out more photos from Hi Fashion's Folsom Street Fair Performance here)

Now this was the first time I saw Hi Fashion perform live, but it certainly wasn't the first time I heard them. I've been intrigued by their music for a while now. Hi Fashion mixes electro-clash realness with satirical, well-toned lyrics, stirred up with some fabulous 90's house beats; sealed in queer fuck-off-rock solution and carted around in a hand-bedazzled Gucci bag- and I'm entirely unapologetic for loving all of those things.

So on this, the day of their newest video release for "You Tuk My Luk", Hi Fashion and I sat down over cocktails and hors d'oeuvres (well, ok, over email, but I know I was drinking at least), and discussed things like music and boners and such. Check out their new video and then read on!

(Hi Fashion remarks about their new video: "It was like creating a rainbow universe inside of a shoebox. We shot over 30 luks on a white screen in a small white space.  We created all the luks, and it features Rick, Danny our beloved and hooded choreographer, and me. It was shot, directed, and edited by Jim Hansen. He is the genius director behind everyone's favorite Chloe videos on youtube. He's a dream to work with.)

Nark: You seem to be really on top of your game when it comes to DIY fame in the modern music world, is Hi Fashion your first music project? If not, how did you adapt with the times? We all know records just don’t sell anymore!
RICK: I was in a project a couple of years ago in NYC called OPTI-GRAB with my preciouses JOHN ROBERTS and TRACY MURPHY. It was right when all the labels were merging and collapsing and right before Youtube and all that.  It felt like the whole thing was ending at the time but the diy model hadnt really HAPPENED yet.  Now there are SO MANY WAYS to get your music out there its AMAZING!! I feel like I never expect anyone to do more for us than US and that's helped me be a lot more proactive about it all. Since we started, we have never been WAITING for someone to discover it, we have been putting it out there in as many formats as we can dream up and I think that's the total opposite of how it felt before.
JEN: Yes this is my first music project, aside from several music-based fundraisers I have organized. (And the time I played Jan in Grease at summercamp). I never thought my first project would look like this, though….I always thought it would be a very direct nod to 90s hardcore/punk…like an all- female answer to Fugazi. But this is not a complaint by any means-I’m completely overjoyed with what this is and excited about where this will take us.


NARK: It’s important for bands nowadays to have a few tricks up their sleeve- viral videos, active networking and etc- what tricks do you have up your sleeve this year?
RICK: We are really expanding our web presence and finding as many ways to communicate to people as possible.  And it is also the year of MUSIC VIDEOS for us.  We are doing everything we can to find those wildly ambitious people that wanna make cool shit and know how to follow thru and collaborating with them.  Its about making a GIANT team of collaborators.  And then we are also doing some entirely art based work that is more bonkers and more unpredictable and totally inspiring to let people into our creative crazy brains.  Because we do so many costumes and clothing designs, we've decided to sell individual pieces on line as well so the whole world of HI FASHION becomes more multi-faceted and accessible for everyone.

NARK: Did any specific incidents inspire you to write ’I’m not Madonna’?
RICK: In fact YES. We had just cut Jen's hair into a bob with bangs and like 2 minutes later Vogue Magazine put out a cover of Halle Berry with the EXACT same hair. And Jen sent me a text of the cover saying, "if one more person thinks I'm Halle Berry today I am going to FREAK."  I almost peed my pants laughing and we started a nonstop text riff(the way we write MOST of our songs) riffing on the idea of being mistaken for famous people (I think I said, "tell me about it, sister.  Everyone thinks I am Barak Obama and it's just because of this damn blue tie I have on.)  When the idea of being mistaken for Madonna entered the joke-sphere, there was a moment when I went "HOLY SHIT." And Jen was like, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" and the basic lyrics of the song were written like an hour later.  We are both HUGE Madonna fans, and the idea of pretending you were Madonna being MISTAKEN for Madonna and trying to get away from it all seemed like the most insane and somehow most imaginable idea ever.  I am IN AWE of that woman.  She has functioned at the TOP OF THE GAME in the public eye for so long its mind boggling.  She's just so DAMN GOOD at what she does.  And this is a hard business.  I imagine there are days when she doesn’t want to talk to ANYONE. When she asks her self, "Why am I doing this? Can I keep this up? " When the sheer exhaustion of being her must be mind boggling.  And it all made me love her even more than I already did.  She is such a bad ass.  And she confronts all of that (I am sure) and still comes out on top CONSTANTLY.  It's insanely impressive and beyond inspiring.  We have a thing that we do when we are unsure what to do next (whether its from a business or artistic standpoint). One of us will say, "Well what would Madonna do?" And there is ALWAYS an answer.  She's like a guardian angel.

NARK: We know being ’Amazing’ is a full time job, but how do you two spend your days off in LA? Champagne atop the Hollywood Hills? Cheetos and Roseanne? (just secretely hoping I’m not the only one... Who does both...)
RICK: What exacly do you mean by DAY'S OFF? I am usually sewing costumes. And then when I stop sewing, I start sewing more costumes.

NARK: I know we haven’t sat down over some Teen Vogues, doing our nails and had a heart to heart, but I still would say it’s safe to assume that Hi Fashion is fueled by pure queer magic, yes? (which is different than faerie magic, less herbs)
RICK: There is NO SHORTAGE of queer magic in this phenomenon.  And queer magic is made of sequins and glitter.  And maybe hairpins too.  I'm a bit of warlock but JEN is most definitely a witch.  A queer witch.  A QUITCH.
JEN: I’m a quitch, plain and simple. And there’s so much magic that happens when we come together with the dancers, the costumes, the videos….pure queer magic.

NARK: What does the word queer mean to you when it is tacked onto you as a person and onto your art and music?
RICK: I like queer. I have always felt it referred more to unusual or uncommon in my mind than particularly gay. I think it refers to things that stand out because they are SPECIAL.  Not the average experience.  And that is true of queer people as well.  I find people like that eternally inspiring and I am thrilled if anyone thinks of me like that. EVERYONE has special unique traits and I love the idea of making art that celebrates that.  This is a culture that is ambivalent about difference.  On the one hand, It sensationalizes it, and on the other hand, it's obsessed with normalcy.  I would like to make and represent queerness that inspires people to explore their queerness no matter who they are and what their gender or orientation may be and imagine it is what is uniquely them and wonderful.   
JEN: I love it and I own it. I am queer-identified and have been for a long time. I used to really struggle with it-I came out when, at least in my circles, everyone was a dyke, a fag, or straight—and bisexuals were ‘those we don’t speak of.’ I didn’t know where I fit in and people would by default label me a lesbian. I was a little passive about it because I wanted to belong and I didn’t feel bisexual. Today I am so proud to be queer. What Hi Fashion is doing is really queer-and also stands strong regardless of that identity. It’s a culture, too, and we are steeped in it. (Thank God).

NARK: We’re thrilled to bring some magic up to Seattle this summer for Hey Tranny it’s Tranny (6/22 at Neumos), it’s quite a smashing entrance into the Seattle scene you’ll be making! Any special plans for the show or your trip? Is it your first time to the PNW?
RICK: I am so ecstatic we are going to perform in SEATTLE. I LOVE THAT CITY!!!!!!!!!! It is so beautiful and fun and spectacular.  I am building a spaceship so we can drop directly out of the sky onto the stage and capture its most interesting specimens for copious testing.
JEN: When I’m not singing I will be slurping oysters. And there’s no double entendre there—I will literally break my own record of 36-oysters-in-one-meal….which, might I add, was set in the beautiful city of Seattle.

NARK: Would you rather roll around in a pile of kittens or puppies?
RICK: No brainer- PUPPIES.  I could die after that.  I love cats but its only because they hate or are indifferent to everyone.  If there's gonna be a pileup, gimme the dogs.  The ecstasy and love would make everything after pale in comparison.  The kittens might just kill you.
JEN: Without a doubt: puppies and me in an empty kiddie pool.  They are kissing me and napping on me and kissing me some more. I am sniffing their little baby puppy breath as they try to bite me with their tiny little razor sharp baby teeth.

NARK: If you got the chance to perform at a Rick Santorum event, what would you do to just fuck it allll up and ruin everyones day/life/eyes?
RICK: This is when the scorpio part of me would really come to life.  I would do nothing to ruin the event.  In fact, I would do everything in my power to make them believe I was one of them.  And then the fun would begin... (the screech of dissonant violin chords)
JEN: It would be an all-out sneak attack and if we reveal it here then we can’t follow through with our plan…..mwa-ha-ha-hahahaaaa!!!!

NARK: Give me some background to Jen and Rick? Or did you just congeal somewhere fully grown and start performing?
RICK: I love the part of our story when I asked Jen to do a music project with me and she said NO.  Somehow, to me, thats the best part. Because at that moment, HI FASHION was GOING to happen, but neither of us knew it.
JEN: It’s true! We had no idea!!! We clocked each other early on-and several times in our past. Rick and I first met at a bar in NYC-when bars were filthy, super seedy, filled with smoke, and dark.  At the time I could have passed for a guy and Rick was trying to pick me up!!-but very quickly realized I was A. of the lady variety and B. totally flattered. So we became chummy. And then we connected again in LA through a mutual acquaintance.  Rick was doing a solo project and I sang back up for him and then he proposed we start a band. I absolutely told him I was starting an all metal girl project (with someone I had a crush on for 5 seconds). So naturally, in Rick form, he writes 3 songs and asks me AGAIN- Like BLAM-now what are you gonna do with these 3 tracks? What did we do? We wrote a track, Amazing, on dinner napkins and we’ve been partners ever since.

NARK: How does it feel to know that drag queens are performing drag acts around the country to some of your songs?
RICK: the first time I saw a drag rendition of one of our songs (it was to Amazing) I actually literally cried.  And then I texted Jen and said simply, ”WE MADE IT.”
JEN: Last Friday night in Nashville Raja of RuPaul’s Drag Race Royalty performed our track Amazing.  And that’s AMAZING!! Anytime a drag queen performs our music we are thrilled. It’s the highest honor.

(Amoania and I performing "I'm Not Madonna" at BUMP)

NARK: Now give me the dish- Rick, Ever been to jail? Ever had a really embarassing moment whilst performing? Do you wanna make out?

RICK: I have never been to jail although I do have fantasies about it.  I sang ON THE GOODSHIP LOLLIPOP dressed as Shirley Temple to a packed house at my rather conservative/ homophobic university in Connecticut, but that may also be my greatest accomplishment so kind of hard to callibrate. And yes of course I wanna make out why do you think I am COMING to Seattle? Do you think I like RAIN?  

NARK: Jen- Who do you wanna bone, more than anyone? Ever have a shop lifting phase? (maybe that’s what got you into high fashion...), Do you think I’m pretty?
JEN: I want to bone every single one of our dancers, I want to bone Robyn, Rosario Dawson, Nomi Ruiz... Lets just say that at any given moment I’ll want to bone someone- at least once.  I also want to bone Debbie Harry circa the late 70s, Lady Miss Kier circa 94, Joan Jett from age 16 on, all of the Go Gos in ’84. All that said, YOU are gorgeous (read: easy bone fantasy material), and I totally shoplifted makeup all the time in my tweens at the mall. And garlic at the grocery store. My grandmother taught me that as an Italian it was our birth rite to always have garlic-and that we didn’t need to pay for it.

NARK: Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to turn this around its just been fifteen minutes since we talked about me. Any note you would like to leave us on? Something enticing to keep us wanting more and more and forcing us to buy tickets to Hey Tranny??
RICK: I have A LOT of money.  And I intend to give it ALL AWAY at that show. So.  If you like that sort of thing, maybe come.
JEN: I will be giving away free puppies at Neumos.

Seattle, get your first chance to see Hi Fashion do what they do best this year for Gay Pride Weekend at our Nark Magazine event, Hey Tranny it's Tranny (also featuring Sharon Needles, JD Samson, Alaska Thunderfuck, Edgar Um, Phyllis Navidad, Ben Delacreme and more) Friday, 6/22 at Neumos. Check Neumos website for tickets once they go on sale!